Category Archives: fail

Chewy Chocolate Peppermint Cookies

chocopeppermint.jpgA few weeks ago, I freaked out over these peppermint bark baking bits from Trader Joe’s (new vlog coming soon!!) and immediately invented a cookie recipe to shove them in. I’ve now made these cookies 18 (okay, 3) times in the past couple weeks and I can’t. get. enough. They taste like brownie batter with the slightest hint of peppermint and are dangerously addictive.

chocopeppermint4.jpgI made the mistake of bringing the entire first batch of cookies into work, leaving only one cookie for Mike to try, which officially makes me the meanest - I KNOW. So, the other night, we’re finishing up dinner and Mike has dropped roughly 1,000 hints about how much he would just looooove a chewy chocolate cookie and it’s toooo bad all the cookies ended up in someone ELSE’S belly, and I decide to redeem myself by whipping up another batch. At this point it’s 9PM and my bedtime is rapidly approaching, so I’m trying to make these cookies AFAP (as fast as possible. invented for the sake of this story), speeding around the kitchen like a Tazmanian devil. While the butter and sugar are spinning around inside the mixing bowl getting fluffy, I fling open the cabinet to grab the flour like a whirling dervish - thereby knocking the metal lid of my flour canister INTO THE MIXER WHICH IS ON. HIGH.

COOKIE DOUGH EXPLOSION. MELANIE CRYING. THE SOUND OF METAL SCRAPING METAL (a sound one hopes to never hear whilst BAKING). HELP. HELP. HELP.

If you have ever wondered what a cookie crime scene might look like, just imagine this:

Dough splattered onto every surface of your kitchen. Cocoa powder (which is im.poss.i.ble. to clean) sprayed across the counters and floor. Flour in your hair, eyes, and life.

chocopeppermint5.jpgAfter screaming for five seconds I had the clarity of mind to TURN OFF the mixer before it died a sad and messy death. Somehow I managed to salvage the few scoops of dough left at the bottom of the bowl to bake up a couple cookies, and all was well in the MJM household.

chocopeppermint2.jpg

The moral of the story? Make these delicious cookies, but don’t try to do it AFAP.

Chewy Chocolate Peppermint Cookies

yield: about 4 dozen cookies

Ingredients

  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 2 eggs + 2 egg yolks
  • 2 cups flour
  • 2/3 cup cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups peppermint bark baking bits (if you can’t find the bits, you could use a combo of chocolate chips and candy cane pieces)

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer, beat butter and sugars on medium-high until fluffy, about 1 minute. Add vanilla, then scrape down the sides of the bowl and add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Scrape down the sides to incorporate ingredients as needed.
  2. In a separate bowl, add flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt. Whisk to combine. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and stir on low speed until combined. Add the baking bits; stir until incorporated.
  3. Drop dough by rounded tablespoons onto a baking sheet. Bake for 8 minutes - do not over bake, or the cookies will be crispy instead of chewy! Allow to cool on a wire rack.

Recipe Fails

I had a totally delicious and simple popsicle recipe all lined up for you today, but then I took one step outside, got smacked in the face by 40 degree rain and wind, and decided that the LAST thing I should be sharing is a frozen treat. So the popsicle(s) will have to wait.

Instead, I’ve decided to post some of my recipe and food photography fails. I got inspired by my girl Anna’s post on keeping up appearances (or not) over at Dear Friend. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows inside my wonderful kitchen and it wouldn’t be very truthful of me to pretend that each and every recipe I try comes out perfectly. Sometimes I get overly ambitious trying new ingredients (check my attempt at jamming all my Easter candy into Momofuku’s Compost Cookie above - fail.), other times the finished product looks/tastes like poo (fail), and still other times I can’t get a good picture because of poor lighting or impatience, and I end up eating whatever I’ve made before I can get a blog-worthy photo…FAIL. Here are some examples.

Remember the time I attempted a green velvet donut for St. Patrick’s Day? That’s right, you don’t. Because I never posted it. Because WHY would it be a good idea to mix GREEN food coloring with CHOCOLATE CAKE BATTER???? Di.a.rrhea. Yeah, I said it.

These heath crunch cookies actually tasted pretty great, but I tried to take photos of them on a rainy afternoon in February and succeeded in taking 1000 underexposed beige-on-beige-on-beige photos before polishing off the entire batch. Sowwy. (If you want to make them, just sub out the chocolate chips in my chocolate chip cookie recipe with Heath Bar bits. Pretty amazeballs.)

Chocolate greek yogurt pancakes, which, in theory, should be pretty delicious AND nutritious. Instead these look like flattened, fluffy,…well, turds.

And finally, these chocolate peanut butter brownies. Messy and crumbly and chocolate oozing everywhere, I gave up taking photos after 5 tries and just face planted in the pan instead.

There are also some unphotographed gems, like the brown butter vanilla bean cookies that tasted like heaven but felt like hockey pucks, or the healthified banana donuts that had the consistency of grainy baked baby food.

So there you have it…the truth. 80% success, 20% fail. Real life in the kitchen of Melanie.

And now that I’ve fully disgusted you and you officially never want to read my blog again, here’s a reminder of why you came here in the first place:

CUPCAKES, haaaayyy! Thanks for reading through the good AND the bad, friends :)

Macaron fail

I have a confession.
Today I tried to make macarons (again).
And I failed. Totally and completely.
I figured I needed to share this fail, because if I only ever posted my baking successes, that wouldn’t be honest, now would it? But it’s hard for me. It really is. 
They started out so great! Dyed robin’s egg blue, sitting on the baking sheet just waiting to go into the oven to fluff into their cute little macaron selves.
But…oh. I am sad to show you what emerged just ten minutes later.
FAIIIIL. Fail. Double fail.
Cracks? No feet??
After some blog searching, I discovered that my oven was too cold. Lesson, learned.
A few had teeny tiny hints of feet:
But nothing like my almost perfect first attempt.
So, I tried to fill a couple anyway. I mean, the flavors are still there, right?
 But I had to give up after a few tries. This guy looks like a sad version of the Hamburglar.
Then, I did something I almost never do. 
I threw the rest out. Uuuugh. They were just too pitiful! I couldn’t bear to look anymore!

Just as a reminder (mostly to myself) - I got it right the first time.
I will try again. I WILL try again.