My roommates and I have been trying to sell our TV on Craig’s list.  Long story short, the screen is broken, the TV is HUGE, and we have no idea how to get rid of it.  So we put it on Craig’s list hoping someone would take it for “parts”.

We figured no one would want to climb up three flights of stairs to take a gigantic broken TV, so imagine our surprise when five people offered to pay us money to take it off our hands.  We got in touch with the highest offer and happily told him/her (?) that they could come pick it up last night.

Then we spent all day Wednesday imagining the different ways the Craig’s list killer was going to kill us.

The Craig’s list killer turned out to be a perfectly nice woman and her two sons, who would have been more than happy to pick up the “flat screen TV” as advertised.  Except that our TV is roughly 4 feet deep.  The opposite of flat.  3D, perhaps.

I’ll let you guess which dumb-dumb was in charge of writing the Craig’s list ad.

As you may have guessed, non-Craigs-list-killer took one look at the enormously large not-flat TV and was all, What is the meaning of this?!  And I was all, Need a minute? Grab a Twix! shoveling homemade Twix bars in my mouth so I wouldn’t have to admit that I was the screw up who wrote “flat screen”.  In conclusion, we still have a giant TV and no idea how to rid ourselves of it.  Please send help.

I’ll give you a homemade Twix bar?

Homemade Twix Bars

yield: ~25 bars

Shortbread Cookie Layer (recipe from alli ‘n sons)

• 1 stick unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.  In a medium bowl, beat butter and sugar on high until fluffy.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl and stir in flour and salt on low until just combined.  Grease a 8×8 pan and press the dough evenly into the bottom.  Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the edges are just golden brown.  Allow to cool for at least 45 minutes before topping with caramel layer.

Salted Caramel Layer (recipe from Ina Garten)

• 3/4 cups sugar
• 1/8 cup light corn syrup
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 teaspoon fine fleur de sel, plus extra for sprinkling
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

In a deep saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, corn syrup, and 1/8 cup water.  Bring to a boil and cook the sugar, swirling the pan (don’t stir!) until the mixture has reached a deep amber color.  Watch it carefully, as it happens fast.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan over low heat, bring the cream, butter, and salt to a simmer.  Remove from heat.

When the sugar is done, remove from heat and pour in the cream+butter.  Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon.  Cook over medium-low heat until it registers 248 degrees on a candy thermometer.  Immediately remove from heat and pour over the cooled shortbread.  Allow the shortbread and caramel to cool in the refrigerator for 2-3 hours, until firm.

Chocolate Layer

• 7 ounces milk chocolate
• 1 teaspoon vegetable shortening

In a microwave-safe bowl, melt chocolate and shortening, stirring every 30 seconds until smooth.

Remove the shortbread and caramel from the pan and cut into 1 inch by 3 inch rectangles.  Place the cut bars on a cooling rack over a pan covered in tin foil, to catch the chocolate drippings.  Drizzle or smooth melted chocolate over the bars.  Place bars in the refrigerator for 20-30 minutes to allow them to firm up.  Store and serve at room temperature.